assalamualaikum

hello people. what a long time i did not rant to this blog. this is my first time writing a post with a new URL myehehe. kyaa, actually i love that tweet handle. CREDIT to myself who give the name. 

oh people, i lost my friend, again. yeah, i know, i know. it has been a long time ago since i lost the bunch of people who called themselves as Kawaii. -,- sigh, this is it. this is the thing i ever hate. this is the thing that i hope everyday for it not to happen. i pray in my heart that i won't lost any of my friend that with me. and h*** yeah, again i did it. congrats to myself for did it successfully. and what i have to accept now is, the hatred of people around me. being an antagonist character in this 'drama'. that what Tasha says and i agree with that. being a person who being thought as a cruel person until who refuse to accept an apology from people called 'sahabat'. well that people should think first why. 

why are we changing. why we started to dislike her. why we acting as we are stranger after all that happened. why we doing this just to protect a friend. hey, she is our friend. why are we blocking her. why we not talking to her. on top of that, how could we did this to her.

yes. i know, i know really well that there may be a possibility that her friends and her may read this. and i know what might happen. but, what do you think i should do? just keep my mouth shut like a coward? you know, i was trying to close my eyes as i saw them curse my friend. they point our fault. talk to my friend as they want. the language they said that made me angry. made me feel like wanted to replied all that. but i was stepping back as i thought that they would steping back too. but what they did, continue all that and made us being an  antagonist. 

we tired being a people who being suspect everyday. we laughed over a food also being misunderstood as we were laugh at you.  when  we clearly talking to you, you said we never do that. when our friend told us the truth, you curse her as we dont have the right to know what you were talking about us. when you were hesitating whether to sit or leave, did you thought about us? do you still expect me to continue silent?yes, we can tell you what we were talking about you. but you need to acknowledge your fault and you friends fault. 

we knew our fault very much and we can list all that. but, we won't. we won't because you keep pointing our fault but never pointing yourselves. sigh, its tiring you know. 

someday  they will acknowledge all these. this 'flint' won't hoping for that. why? because they already made me and my best friends changing. we became a different people as we talking about them. we became a cold hearted person when this matter is brought up. you  can do whatever you want and we are doing fine. just fine.

its all in past. we are just going look for future. we have our own future and we should work on that.  just being a stranger as we are now. we are fine with that. we decide to.

forget all these and live a life you want, Nur Atiqah. *patting myself* live for Natasha Eliyana who loves you.  live for Hazatul Fitriah who are be able to help you being stronger. live for Intan Nurshahira who are not fake. live for Adilah Farhana as you already protect her. just live a fine life.